Amnesia (Jean X Reader)

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted
And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine

Jean smiled to himself as he passed the large bar. How stupid they all were, him and his friends. But a good kind of stupid. Jean chuckled as he remembered Connie twerking on open-mic-night. He shook his head and rolled his eyes as he continued driving.

But something else was knocking on his mind. (f/n). He knew she was gone, somewhere else having an amazing adventure while he was stuck in this small town. He missed her. It had been three months since, and he still remembered the day she said goodbye. He remembered the way her lips tasted salty from her tears. He called all of her friends to make sure she were okay, but they all reassured him. Maybe he should just calm down, right?

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?
When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

And she had moved on. Now she was with some other boy that wasn't the one with two-toned hair and golden eyes. She had sent Jean pictures of her and her new... boyfriend. She said she was happy. Then she would call him the next day and tell him that the boy had hurt her. And Jean would comfort (f/n), tell her sweet and kind words that no one else would be able to say. Often he wondered if she thought of him, as he constantly thought of her.

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
'Cause I'm not fine at all

Was their relationship just a scam though? Were all those countless nights of him next to her on the grassy hillside, staring up into the night sky and telling their dreams to one another, all just fake? Why was she so happy about her new life, when Jean was in tears over her absence? Was she happy that he was gone? Was she not feeling this aching loneliness that he was feeling?

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face

"Jean... I-I know this is hard, b-but just think! My dreams are finally coming true!" (f/n) stuttered, cupping Jeans cheeks with her hands. "You know I don't want to leave, Jean, but I have to. This is the only chance I have." Her mascara was streaking black ink on her cheeks.

"I know... just..." The boy felt tears at the corners of his eyes. "I love you. I don't want you to leave me." He said, wrapping his arms about her slim waist and holding her close. "Do we have to... split?" He said, choking on the last word.

"It'll only be harder if we try to stay together." She whispered, voice muffled as she buried her face in his chest.

He was silent, enjoying the moment he had with her. With their bodies so close, sharing each others pain. "Does it have to be tomorrow?" He finally asked.

She nodded silently. Jean let out a shaky breath before pulling away slightly. He tipped her chin up until her shining (e/c) eyes met with his. "One last kiss." He whispered.

She nodded with tears falling down her cheeks as she stood on her toes and threw her arms around his neck, pressing her lips against his. He lifted her off the ground a little so they were at eye level as he pressed back.

And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made

"Jean?"

The boy turned his head to the side. (f/n)'s face was illuminated by the moonlight as she stared up at the sky. She seemed fascinated by all the little lights, even though she's been out here numerous times with him. "Yeah?" The boy responded.

"One day, I'm going to be famous. I'm going to go on a dancing adventure, all around the world! I'll go to the best schools, and have the best instructors, and I'll be so happy and have so much fun." She said.

Jean smiled and scooted closer to the (h/c)-haired girl, and wrapped his arms about her shoulders as she rested her head on his chest. "Don't forget about me though, alright?" He whispered.

"I won't." She murmured, nuzzling into his strong chest.

"... We'll be together forever, right? No matter what?" He asked, suddenly fearful that his love would leave him.

She giggled and reached up to peck his lips. "Of course! I'll take you on all my adventures with me, and then we'll get married and have such a wonderful family!" She said.

Jean chuckled and kissed her forehead. "You have a big imagination." He said.

(f/n) intertwined her fingers with his and squeezed his hand. "All our wishes and dreams are going to come true." She whispered.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape
Cause I'm not fine at all

Jean stared at the empty spot in his bed. It looked cold and fragile. He sighed and propped himself up on his elbows. His arms felt so empty without her to hold. Without her body pressed up against his as they both slept. What did it feel like, to have your love fall asleep in your arms? Like overwhelming happiness that made you want to kiss every inch of them.

Jean grabbed his pillow and hurled it at the wall, where it innocently thudded to the floor. If only he could forget. Forget and move on, just like she did. If only he could forget how much he loved her, maybe then he'd be willing to let someone else occupy the space that was reserved for her.

The pictures that you sent me they're still living in my phone
I'll admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone

Jean laid back down on the bed, his head hitting the mattress since his pillow was on the floor. He pulled out his phone and began scrolling through his pictures. There she was, posing in front of the Eiffel Tower. He smiled at the way she was balancing on one foot with her arms thrown in the air. Then there she was, in front of a mirror with a fancy costume on. Her first show, she had told him. He smiled and sat his phone back on the nightstand.

But for some reason, he felt more alone than he had before.

And all my friends keep asking why I'm not around
It hurts to know you're happy, yeah, it hurts that you've moved on
It's hard to hear your name when I haven't seen you in so long
It's like we never happened, was it just a lie?
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?
'Cause I'm not fine at all

"Hey! Did you see that (f/n) was on the cover of that magazine in Paris?" Sasha squealed excitedly. "She really is becoming famous!"

Jean cringed at your name and seemed to sink further into the sofas cushions. "Oi, Jean? What's wrong? You're finally out with us and you're acting all anti-social." Marco said, nudging Jean's arm. "Hey, you're not still moping about her, are you?" He said in a lower voice.

"No, I'm fine." Jean lied.

"And did you see that guy that she's dancing with?" Christa asked. Jean focused his attention back to the girls who were excitedly talking on the floor with one another.

"Oooh! If (f/n) wasn't already with him, I'd tap that SO FAST!" Hanji said. All the girls gave her a confused look before bursting into laughter. "I tried! I asked her for his number, but she said that he was already taken." Hanji further explained, causing the girls to go into a bigger fit of giggles.

Jean got up from his seat and started walking towards the door. "Jean? You're not leaving, are you?" A voice said behind him. Jean turned to see Armin giving him a concerned look. "Eren was just about to open up the wine."

"I'm not feeling good." Jean mumbled.

"C'mon Horse-face, stay for a drink or two!" Eren said from the kitchen, tugging on the cork of the wine bottle.

"Yeah Jean! You've been isolating yourself for like three months!" Ymir said.

Jean looked around and sighed. For the sake of his friends, he'd pretend. But not even the wine could tug away the lonely feeling tugging at his gut.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face

Jean pulled away to look into her (e/c) eyes, setting her back on the floor. She let out a shaky breath and wrapped her arms around his torso, pulling herself close. "I don't want to go, Jean, I want to stay with you, but I have to go..." She said.

He tipped her face up once again, and used his thumbs to wipe away the black streaks on her cheeks. "I don't want my last memory of you looking like a witch." He mumbled with a smirk. (f/n) giggled and swatted his hand away.

"I'm going to miss you." She said, wiping at her eyes, only making more black streaks across her face.

Jean smiled and used the sleeve of his shirt to wipe it away. "I'll miss you more. But we'll still keep in touch... Even as friends." He mumbled the last part, taking his arm away. She smiled and him, them reached up to kiss his cheek. He closed his eyes with a pained expression as he savored the feeling of her soft lips against his skin.

And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made

"Jean! Look at that one!" (f/n) said, tugging the male along the street as she pointed at the store window furiously. "When we get married, I want to wear that one!" She said once they had stopped in front of the long glass.

A large white dress was in the window, with it's train billowing out behind it. It had beautiful lace on it that swept down to the floor as small diamonds flickered in the light. "That one?" Jean asked skeptically, staring at the dress.

"Don't say it like that, it's beautiful!" (f/n) said, pressing herself up against the glass. Jean chuckled at her childish appearance, like a toddler looking at chocolate in a store.

"Don't you think it looks a little too flashy?" He asked, coming to stand next to her by the window's glass. The (e/c)-eyed girl threw him a soft glare. "But I'm sure it'll look great on you!" Jean quickly said.

(f/n) giggled and threw her arms around his neck, pulling him down into a kiss. "If it's too flashy, I'm sure they'll have another one." She said. Jean grinned and pressed his lips to hers.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

"Jean~!" A sweet voice called from up the stairs. The boy rolled his golden eyes and stood up from his seat, walking to the bottom of the steps.

"What is it?" He called back.

"Can you come up here for a moment?"

Jean groaned before walking up the steps. "I was in the middle of some-" He stopped mid-sentence when he saw the scene before him. (f/n) was standing before the mirror with a long blue gown on, sparkles shimmering every way she turned. Her back was facing the glass, and she was slightly turned as she tried to zip it up.

"I can't..." She trailed off as she tried feeling for the zipper. "I can't reach it! Can you get it?" She pleaded.

Jean grinned and walked behind her. "Why the hell are you wearing this, (f/n)?" He asked. He had a slight heart attack as he racked his memory for any special event that was supposed to occur today.

"I want to make sure it looks good on me so I can wear it once I'm a dancer." She replied in a tone that stated it was the most obvious thing in the world. Jean rolled his eyes and bent down, placing small kisses along her spine.

"Everything looks good on you, (f/n)." He whispered. He smirked as he felt her shudder slightly.

"Sh-shut up Horse-face!" She said, turning around. He grinned before swooping down and pressing a kiss to her soft lips. He reached behind her and zipped up the dress before pulling away. She sighed and turned to look in the mirror. Jean smiled at the little face she made as she inspected herself. "How does it look?" She asked, not taking her eyes off of her figure.

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "You look beautiful, (f/n), stop doubting yourself." He whispered. (f/n) grinned and placed her hands atop his, resting her head on his chest.

If today I woke up with you right beside me

Jean gasped and sat up abruptly. He panted heavily and looked around the room. It looked the same. Except... The closet was wide open and (f/n)'s clothes were in it. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and ran a hand through his hair as he looked down beside him. She was laying there, curled up into a tight ball as she slept with a smile on her face.

He reached over to the nightstand and pulled out his phone. He began looking at the pictures. It was her, posing in front of the Eiffel Tower, but he was right beside her, making some sort of stupid pose too. And then another photo, of her and Jean together as she was in her fancy costume. He put the phone back on the nightstand and turned back around towards her body.

Like all of this was just some twisted dream

He looked down at her, more confused than he had ever been in his life. He took a few deep breaths before realizing his situation. It was just a dream. It was all just a bad dream.

I'd hold you closer than I ever did before

Jean smiled down at her figure. She was twitching a little. Maybe having a bad dream too? He laid back down beside her, and wrapped his arms about her. He pulled her close to his chest and nuzzled his face in her hair. (f/n) relaxed under his touched, and stopped twitching. Jean smiled and kissed the top of her head.

And you'd never slip away
And you'd never hear me say

I remember the day you told me you were leaving
I remember the make-up running down your face
And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them
Like every single wish we ever made
I wish that I could wake up with amnesia
And forget about the stupid little things
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you
And the memories I never can escape

He smiled to himself as he remembered. Yes, her dream had come true. Yes, she had flown off to Paris to dance. Yes, she had a dance partner that wasn't himself. All of those things were true, but one thing was left out of his dream, to assure him that it was a dream.

He was with you too.

'Cause I'm not fine at all
No, I'm really not fine at all
Tell me this is just a dream
'Cause I'm really not fine at all

"Jean?" A sleepy voice murmured.

"Yes?" Jean responded.

"I had a bad dream..." (f/n) whispered.

"What was it about?" He asked.

"That I left you all alone, and I went off to Paris all by myself, and that you were sad but I kept ignoring you." She turned around so her gaze locked with his. "I don't want to hurt you Jean. You're with me, right? That was all just a dream?" She asked with wide, innocent, pleading eyes.

"Yeah, it was just a dream." He whispered, pulling her closer. She sighed and buried her face into his chest. "I'm here. Don't worry." He murmured.

(f/n) kissed his chest. "I love you." She whispered.

He grinned and kissed the top of her head. "I love you too."

"Will you keep me safe from all the bad dreams?" She asked.

He chuckled softly. "Yeah. Don't worry. I'm here."