Egg Hunt (Daddy!Levi X Mommy!Reader) CRACKFIC!AU

~A/N: By the time I submit this, it probably won't be Easter anymore, but HAPPY EASTER TO EVERYONE, EVEN IF YOU DON'T CELEBRATE IT ~









    Ah, springtime. What a lovely season it was, filled with fluorescent flowers and buzzing bees, emerald leaves and a nice long breeze that enjoyed teasing the ends of your tresses. It was such a serene and tranquil time of the year, with the exception of that horrid pollen that tickled your nose constantly. One of your favorite parts about this season, besides the obvious April Fool's jokes you adored pulling on your friends, was the imagination that flowed through all the children and their minds. Especially your little five-year-old, Faith, who found the wonder in absolutely anything and everything.

    It was a known fact that the Easter holiday was the one you were in charge of, while your husband Levi was supervising Christmas, and the both of you did the rest together. Yet for some odd reason, when you took out the colorful eggs filled with chocolates and jellybeans to hide, he stopped you in your tracks.

    "Oh, hey, can you distract Faith while I hide these around the front yard?" you asked, holding a glimmering green one as an example.

    "I want to hide the eggs this year," he said bluntly, holding out his hand with arched brows, an expectant expression washing over his features as his ashen silver hues locked onto yours.

    A soft laugh escaping your lips, you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms over your chest. "But Easter is my job. Why do you want to do it all of a sudden?"

    "Because you suck at hiding eggs. They're practically out in the open and just laying on the grass for her to find, it's like you don't even try," he said. "I could do a much better job."

    "She's only five."

    "And?" he said. You rolled your eyes as he continued making his point. "When I was her age I could disable a bomb, take a gun apart and put it back together, AND SLAY VAMPIRES,"

    "You... no."

    "Whatever."

    "Fine, then I'm doing Christmas."

    "You could never pull off my Santa skills, I am the SANTA QUEEN," he said, grabbing the box of eggs from your grasp. "I'm doing Easter and Christmas, you can just do Halloween by yourself this year."

    You gasped, dramatically putting your hand over your heart. "BUT I DON'T WANT TO HAND OUT CANDY, THAT JOB SUUUUUCKS!"

    "THEN HIDE EGGS BETTER!"

    "ARE YOU THE EGG JUDGE?"

    "WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL I WAS ACTUALLY STUDENT BODY PRESIDENT AND I JUDGED THE EASTER EGG CONTEST SO YES I AM THE EGG JUDGE," he said as you grabbed the other side of the box and tugged towards yourself. "Hey, let go!"

    "You let go! Stop acting like you're five, hiding the eggs is my job!" you said as he tugged back.

    "No, YOU'RE FIVE, I'M FIVE AND A HALF!"

    "LET GO!"

    "YOU LET GO!"

    "NO, LET GO!"

    "NO, YOU LET GO!"

    "JUST LET IT GO, IT'S MY JOB!"

    "LET GO, IT'S MY TURN!"

    "Mommy? Daddy?"

    You both turned to see your small toddler with wide eyes the same color as yours, and onyx-raven hair tickling her shoulders as she tilted her head to the side. Even with a little body, she still had obtained both her mother and her father's sass as she crossed her arms. "Why do you guys have my Easter Eggs? DID YOU FIND THEM WITHOUT ME? DID THE EASTER BUNNY FORGET ME?"

    Levi snatched the box and tossed it off to the side where it clattered out of vision. "What eggs?" he asked. "There are no eggs here."

    "Levi shut up she found out-"

    "Shshsh I'm a good daddy, watch," he said. He kneeled before his daughter and waved his hands in front of her face. "This is all a dream. You are sleeping."

    "Daddy, it's noon, only mommy sleeps in for that long."

    "Shshsh child you are sleeping, go back upstairs this is all a dream because there are no eggs here, got it?" he said. Faith reluctantly nodded and shrugged, trudging back upstairs. Levi turned back to you and whispered, "I bet I can hide more eggs before you by the time she realizes this isn't a dream."

    "It's on like donkey kong," you said. The both of you nerds then grabbed as many Easter eggs as you could and hid them in various places to see who won the stupid competition.




    THE END