Elastic Heart (Eren X Paranoiac!Reader)

~A/N: Listen As You Read! www.youtube.com/watch?v=GZKX2z… ~














    It was near to inconclusive, the reason why her heart beat so rapidly and forehead grew sweat-slicked as it grew more troublesome to heave her labored breaths, and it was difficult for her to understand why her chest felt so constricted as she clenched her jaw harshly in attempt to withhold her emotions. Yet the task she was put to do day after wretched day was terribly and utterly exhausting, wearing her energy away bit by bit as she locked away each and every worry behind her bright and cheery smile. She could practically feel the fatigued and distressed expression becoming her permanent one, the one she'd hide behind her joyous mask.

    How was she to put her faith in a group of people whom she hardly knew, and follow their orders when she doubted them all, or even listen to them when she couldn't help but find them deceitful or untrustworthy when they gave her small glances of reassurance? Were they simply setting her up for her doom, or planning the absolute worst when she wasn't in earshot? The simple notion of this made her short of breath, what if it were true? Nevermind having to run blindly into the thick of battle with her comrades by her sides, didn't they feel the same as her? Had they been suppressing their struggles as well, or did they put their trust and faith into their superiors so vigorously, that they hadn't allowed a single doubt to cross their minds?

    She was undoubtedly strong and tenacious, even brave and valiant, yet in a way different from their usual definitions. Mentally capable from having able to keep herself upright for so long without tumbling down, without even shedding a single tear throughout her journey. Emotionally gallant by pushing herself to her limits and beyond just to prove that she could survive through anything, only to prove it to herself and the voice of doubt echoing in the back of her mind. She wouldn't allow herself to collapse or disintegrate into a pool of despair and agony, she'd only push herself further into the void of being frightened, anxious, and restless every night, only to prove to herself that she could make it even if she hated it.

    Yet everyone has a limit, and she couldn't quite stop herself before it happened.









    Having to feel this overwhelming sensation of uncertainty continuously towards everyone was rather lonesome, especially when she remained so stiff and strained, only leaving small happy statements or sincere amounts of advice, yet she never felt... right. She'd shy away into the back of the group, persisting her tense and rigid figure as she'd send small smiles to her comrades and superiors. Only one person really understood her pain and sufferings... But she didn't want to bother him anymore than she already had, she felt as if he'd helped her enough already with his gracious presence and delicate words of affections. What was she to do without him?

    She gritted her teeth and set her jaw, clenching her fists by her sides from where she sat with her back to the wall, and drew her knees to her chest while allowing her head to fall back and hit the wall without the slighted bit of grace. Eyelids fluttering shut, she internally cursed at herself as she felt the warm water droplets of tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes, daring to trickle down her cheeks and beyond her jawline. Yet she couldn't bring herself to bring a hand up to wipe it away, or to open her pressed-together rosy lips to emit a sob, because to her it would symbolize that she had succumbed to the inky black monster who dared to eat her from the inside out.

    A sudden creak of the floorboards made her breath hitch in her throat as the tears trickling down her cheeks seemed to halt as well as the thoughts fogging her mind, and her eyes grew wide as she gazed towards the agape door with a familiar figure standing with its head tilted. Her name rolled off his tongue softly, yet even as a wave of relief dove over her form, she couldn't help but feel shame as well. So she scooted as far back into the corner as she managed, inaudibly asking for him to leave her be as her reserved cries began breaking free of their imprisonment.









    Even as she cried and told him to stay away, told him to allow her to sort out her struggles on her own, his brows knitted together with concern as he walked forward, toward where she held her hands out in protest. Slowly kneeling before her and dusting his fingertips over her exposed palm a delicate hush left his lips as he used the other hand to tip her chin up, compelling her to meet his intense gaze. "Just watch my eyes," he whispered softly, lacing his fingers with hers.

    His emerald hues left her completely entranced as her sobs neared to an end, and she simply focused on the flecks of amber and azure in the pools of pine-tinted aquamarine. He gently helped her regain herself, slowly, as one would teach a toddler to stand. First by pulling her to her knees, keeping his eyes locked onto hers, then one foot following the other until she stood at her full height, gazing up with the small amount of light filtering in through the window illuminating her tear-stained cheeks. She whispered his name into the night, wanting him to hear the resolute meaning behind her tone of utter desperation and hope. And without another word, he encompassed her into his embrace.

    And she broke. But he didn't care.

    Her sobs and whimpers were muffled by the fabric of his shirt as she shut her eyes, knotting her hands into his soft chocolate tresses as she rest her forehead against his chest. He had his arms encircling her torso, another stroking her hair as she cried, murmuring delicate words of affection and consolation to her as she released all of the emotions she had kept trapped in a cage for what seemed like centuries. "You don't have to be scared of anything, I'm right here," he said. "And I promise, I'll protect you," he added as he held her close, pressing multiple tender kisses to the corners of her eyes, her temples, the tip of her nose, her cheeks, anywhere he possibly could to make her feel safe.

    And for the first time in her life, she knew she could believe this. She knew it was the truth.