Heichou's Kitten Sneeze (Levi X Reader)

Truth or Dare. What a horrifying game. Where a person was forced to reveal their most deepest darkest secret, or to do something incredibly stupid. You, of course, wanted to do neither. Which was the entire reason that you refused Sasha's invitation. "But it'll be fun!" She said. "You'll make memories!" She said. "Come on, what's the worse that could happen?" She said. But you refused, not wanting to end up with a month of stable duty. Which is why you were angry when Sasha put a pillowcase over your head, bonded your hands together with rope, and dragged you down to the mess hall where the others were waiting.

"Goddamn it Sasha, did you really have to do that?" You asked, rubbing your wrists from where the rope was. There were red marks on your skin, with small creases indicating the texture of the tough rope.

She laughed and shrugged. "Well, it was my dare, and I couldn't pass it up." She said.

"What happens if you pass up a dare?" You asked, turning to her.

"You have to drink the water from the toilet. The toilet Hanji uses for experiments." Connie said from where he sat on the other side of Sasha.

"That's lovely." You muttered, pushing your arms behind you and leaning on them. From your right to your left sat Sasha, Connie, Armin, Eren, Mikasa, Jean, Bertholdt, Reiner, Christa, and Ymir.

"Alright, it's my turn!" Sasha said, excitedly clapping her hands together. Sometimes you wondered if she and Hanji were somehow related. She scanned the crowd faces, searching for a victim until she came upon a terrified-faced blonde girl. "CHRISTA!" She screamed, rather loudly. "Truth or Dare?"

"T-Truth." She small girl stuttered, holding her hands against her chest nervously.

"Truth? C'mon Christa, you always do truth, do dare for once!" Reiner said beside her, elbowing her gently. A few more voices rose up, agreeing with the large boy.

"Fine! Dare!" Christa said with a victorious smile. Her smile disappeared with Sasha's mischievous smile.

"Go open the door to that closet," Sasha said, nodding towards the supply closet. Christa gave her a confused look, to which the brunette responded with a nod. Christa kept her eyebrows knitted as she stood up and walked over to the door, placing a hand on the doorknob.

"This is it?" She asked, raising her eyebrows in surprise. Sasha nodded again. Christa let out a small laugh. "You guys are going too easy on- AHHHHH!" She screeched as over a hundred moths flew out of the closet, attacking her face in the process of trying to escape. She ran away from the closet, slamming the door in the process, and sat back down in her spot, covering her face and rocking back and forth. Sasha was hysterically laughing, having to lean on Connie for support.

"That's my girl, tough as cotton balls," Ymir said, patting Christa's head.

As people kept playing the game, you pondered on what you would choose when it was your turn. Dare, you'd have to do something incredibly stupid, which you'd most likely regret for the rest of your life. Not worth the risk. Truth, everyone knew you were hiding your feelings about someone, so you knew what their question would be. But you didn't want to reveal the truth about the way you felt towards the one and only Corporal Levi. You still needed some pride out of the little you had. But how could you not fall for the man? The way his dark hair perfectly danced on his head, the way his muscles rippled underneath all of those layers of un-needed clothing, his beautiful eyes that seemed to be so dark and mysterious. The way they sometimes locked with yours, causing a blush to spread across your face. And that voice. Dear God, the things you imagined that sexy voice saying to you.

"Hey (f/n), did you not hear me? Truth or Dare?" Jean's voice interrupted your thoughts. You let out a small "Huh?" Before processing what he said. You kept thinking about the possibilities. He had that look on him that made you know that either choice was going to be terrible. You didn't want to drink toilet water though... Especially from Hanji's Experiment Toilet.

Deciding your secret could be kept for a little while longer, you said, "Dare." The look on Jean's face made you know you had chosen the wrong thing. "Oh god..." You muttered.

"Well, (f/n), are you ready for a challenge?" He asked. You shrugged. "There is a rumor going around the captains about Corporal Levi, and I want you to see if it's true."

"Why me?" You asked.

"Because I've gotten in trouble too many times, and you have a clean record." He said.

"That's true," Connie muttered.

"Anyway, according to Hanji and Mike..." He paused for dramatic effect. "Levi sneezes like a kitten."

You sat up on your knees abruptly. "WELL ISN'T THIS FUCK-TASTIC? I'M ON A SUICIDE MISSION! IF YOU WANTED THIS JEAN, WHY NOT GIVE IT TO EREN?-" To which Eren said, "Hey!" but you continued, "-WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN HE MAKES A NORMAL-SOUNDING SNEEZE? 'Oh, sorry Heichou, I just wanted to see if you sneezed like a cat because according to most of the people around here, you do. But it seems you don't so please don't kill me.' GODDAMMIT JEAN, HOW DO YOU EVEN PLAN ON MAKING HIM SNEEZE?"

Jean smirked and held up a red velvet pouch, no bigger than your hand, from your palm to your fingertips. Jean tossed it over to you, which you fumbled with for a second before holding it firmly in between your hands. "Smell it." He said. You pulled on the golden string that held the bag closed and brought it up to your nose. You immediately sneezed, spreading some of the dust around the room. Soon, everyone sneezed. Jean smirked as he said the next words.

"Black Pepper."



You nervously stood at the doorway to the mess hall. The pillows which all of you were sitting at last night were removed, probably in the moth-infested supply closet. You stared over at the superior table. Levi was idly poking at his food while half-listening to Hanji talking excitedly to him and Erwin. You sighed and stuffed the pouch back in your pocket. I can't do this, he'll hate me forever, and I'll have a good chance of dying. You thought, starting towards your regular seat. You felt a hand grasp your upper arm, and you turned to see Jean, smirking down at you. "What is it?"

"Aren't you going to do the dare?" He asked.

"No." You said, giving him a hard stare and trying to yank your arm free from his grasp.

"Do you want to drink toilet water with toxic chemicals?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"... No." You said through gritted teeth.

"Then you have to do the dare." He said. You sighed and stopped struggling. He let go of your arm, letting you drop it to your side, and stuffing your hand in your pocket to retrieve the pouch. "It's a shame," He started once you pulled it out. "If you die, I won't have any other girls to flirt with." He said with a mock frown.

"I'm sure you'll find someone to replace me, I'm sure there are plenty of girls who are willing to jump into battle for you." You said.

"None that hate it when I annoy them like you, though." He said, patting your shoulder. "Good luck!" He called as he walked towards his seat. You inhaled deeply before letting out a long exhale as you strode over towards the table that would decide your fate of life or death.

"Um, Heichou?" You asked hesitantly. Hanji stopped talking to him, gave you a smile, and looked over to Erwin to begin chatting with him. Levi turned his head to the side to look up at your from where he sat, fork lazily in mid-air.

"Tch, what do you want, brat? Can't you see I'm talking here?" He asked.

You started fumbling with the pouch. "Well, sir, I would like to ask you if you can smell this and identify it's scent." You said, holding the opened bag underneath his nose. He instinctively moved away from it, which you leaned in more, bringing it under his nose.

"What the hell brat-" You saw him catch his voice. He squeezed his eyes shut before continuing at a slow pace as if it was hard to continue. "I-I'm n-not going to s-smell that s-stup-pid ah-ah-ah-AH-" And he sneezed.

And what a noise it made. Extremely high pitch for a man with such a monotone voice. But it wasn't to the point to where it was annoying, but it sounded well... Adorable. Like a kitten's mewling. It made a loud "TEW!", enough for everyone to hear. The whole room went silent. And God, how RED his face was. You didn't know that Humanities Strongest Soldier was capable of such a shade. Everyone gave him a wide-eyed stare, some with their mouths slightly open. Jean's smirk was a smirk of victory. Erwin looked extremely appalled, while Hanji looked like she might've exploded with laughter. And she did, having to lean on Erwin for support to make sure she didn't fall out of her seat. She finally screeched, "SHORTY HAS A KITTEN SNEEZE!" And the entire room erupted in laughter.

Jokes of his noise and very accurate mimics were made as Levi's face turned back to its normal hue, but the anger remained. He stood up, making everyone silence at his movement. He gave them all a glare, making their laughing faces turn into terrified ones until his gaze fell on you. "My office." He said in a low voice. But it was so quiet in the room, everyone could hear. You stood still, not knowing what to do. "Now." He said in a much more rougher voice. You were still scared stiff. He let out a signature "Tch" and grabbed your arm, pulling you out of the mess hall.



He opened the door to his office and strode inside. "Close and lock the door behind you." He ordered, standing over his desk. You obeyed, closing the door softly and locking it with a quiet click. This is it. He's going to kill me. I'm going to die. Holy shit I'm going to die a virgin too, isn't that just great. You thought as you stared at the door, keeping your hand on the doorknob. You felt something grab your wrist and spin you around so you were facing your superior. Before you got a chance to speak, he slammed you against the wall, both of your chests touching each other.

"H-Heichou?" You asked nervously as he stared intensely at your (e/c) eyes. He grabbed both of your hands and pinned them above your head easily with one hand.

"(f/n), you made a fool of me in front of all of our colleagues," He started. A shiver ran down your spine when he called you by your first name, which he had never done. "And you must be punished for it."

And he leaned down, latching his lips onto the soft skin on your neck. You gasped from the sudden contact and felt him smirk against your skin. "Not expecting that, were you, cadet?" He murmured against your skin. You shook your head, not wanting to let out the moan that was forming in your throat. He trailed his lips upwards, towards your soft pink ones. Right when he kissed the edge of them, you turned your face so his lips would come into contact with yours. He seemed to sense that was coming, so he quickly moved his head to the side, kissing your jawline instead. He was teasing you. You gritted your teeth and shut your eyes, trying not to show how weak this made you feel. Finally, his lips crashing into yours, and he let one of your hands slip from his grasp.

You ran the hand through his hair and drew him closer to you, earning a rather sexy chuckle to erupt from his mouth. He used his other hand to grasp onto your hip, pressing you firmly against the wall. He finally let go of your other hand and used his hand to sneak behind your neck, drawing you closer to him, and partially away from the wall. You used your other hand to grab onto his shirt, tugging him closer. After a few moments of that heavenly bliss, he grabbed you by the waist and picked you up. You yelped in surprise and wrapped your legs around his waist as he kissed your collarbone gently, before ungracefully throwing you onto his bed.

"L-Levi?" You stuttered as he hovered over you.

"What? Your punishment is far from over." He whispered before pressing his lips against yours once more.

You had a feeling you weren't going to die a virgin.