I Need Your Love (Insomniac!Levi X Reader)

I need your love, I need your time
When everything's wrong you make it right
I feel so high, I come alive
I need to be free with you tonight
I need your love

He stared intently out the glass, brows slightly furrowed. His hands grasped the edge of the windowsill, knuckles white with his grip. The moonlight outlined his every feature, from the crease between his eyebrows to the bruised crescents under his steely grey orbs. Thoughts seemed to have a never ending battle in his mind, thrashing back and forth, debating what was right or wrong. He could never find it in himself to emerge from his realm of thoughts.

You tapped him lightly on the shoulder, causing his form to ever so slightly jump at the sudden touch. He glanced over his shoulder, giving you an expectant look with an arched brow. “It’s late, Levi. Go to bed,” you whispered.

He let out a deep sigh, turning back towards the window. “You know I can’t sleep,” he murmured.

You took a step forward, wrapping your arms around his waist while pressing your forehead to his back. “If I believe hard enough, maybe you can,” you said with a small smile.

He sighed through his nose, hanging his head. “You know it doesn’t work that way,” he said. Truth be told, he didn’t want to succumb to his horrifying nightmares as he did every night. He’d wake up in a cold sweat, panting heavily or sometimes even screaming. He knew that worried you more than not getting any sleep at all.

“I know why you don’t want to sleep, Levi… But maybe my love can scare away all of the monsters in your nightmares.” You said innocently, peeking your head around his shoulders in order to see his face.

“You’re childish at times,” he said softly, unable to express his gratitude in any other way.

“Well the child in us never really dies, Levi,” you said in a matter-of-fact tone.

He chuckled a bit, turning his head to meet your gaze. “Alright. But if I’m using your love to get rid of the monsters, I’m going to need a lot of it.”

I take a deep breath every time I pass your door
I know you're there but I can't see you anymore
And that's the reason you're in the dark
I've been a stranger ever since we fell apart

Levi sighed, running a hand through his hair. Maybe some tea will calm my nerves, he thought as he strode down the hallway. Not being able to sleep was a bitch, especially since he got up bright and early in the morning. He happened to glance to the side on his way down, making his feet involuntarily pause.

His last footsteps echoed throughout the hall as he peered at the door. Your door, to be exact. Maybe… He shook his head at the thought. He’d put you into enough trouble as it was, he can’t be selfish enough to wake you up and ask for help to sleep.

Then again, she did say she’d help any time I needed her. And it did help last time, he continued to ponder. He felt like he was using you, the way he asked you to spend the nights with him to help him sleep. He wanted to be able to express his love towards you, not use you for comfort.

With another long sigh, he strode down the hallway once again.

And I feel so helpless here
Watch my eyes are filled with fear
Tell me do you feel the same?
Hold me in your arms again

He screamed, jolting up from the plush mattress. Your eyes shot open as you sat up, blinking away the grogginess. You reached out, ready to drape your arms about him. “No,” he muttered. He pulled away, holding up a hand in signal to stop.

He took a few deep breaths, panting slightly as he ran a hand through his hair. His eyes were widened with fear as he stared down at the white sheets. There were a few moments of silence as he controlled his heavy breathing, choking down a few gulps of air. He glanced to the side, noticing your concerned gaze boring into him. “I’m sorry,” he continued, “I just don’t want you to…”

“I’m going to worry about you whether you like it or not,” you said, flopping back down onto the mattress. His stare hovered over your form for a moment, longing swimming within his steely orbs. “Come here,” you said, reaching out to him.

He hesitated a moment, breath hitching. Was he really using her again? Or was she really concerned for him and wanted to help? Pushing away his never ending thoughts, he laid back down, wrapping his arms around your waist as you did the same. “Thank you,” he whispered softly.

I need your love, I need your time
When everything's wrong you make it right
I feel so high, I come alive
I need to be free with you tonight
I need your love

“Why are you up this late?”

Levi glanced up from his stacks of paper, meeting a stern glare that was somewhat adorable. “Doing work. I didn’t know it was a crime,” he responded, looking back down to the papers he wasn’t paying much attention to before.

“No you’re not,” you said. “You’re just getting out of your sleep.”

He was quiet, unsure of what to say. You sighed, walking forward. You grabbed his wrist, trying to pull him out of his chair. “Well if you’re not going to sleep, you might as well do something productive.”

“I am doing something productive, idiot,” he said, standing up when your weak attempts to pull him up failed.

“No you’re not, idiot,” you responded in the same monotonous voice that he constantly used. You cracked a smile, tugging him to the door. “I meant something mentally productive. If you’re going to stay awake, you might as well do something fun to get all those ugly thoughts from your head.”

Levi sighed, trying to find words to express how all he needed was you to make him happy. Your presence was his hold onto life, his grasp to happiness and peace. If only he had the exact amount of romantic vocabulary to express these actual positive thoughts, he wouldn’t have to be dragged off to something unnecessary.

Although, it would put a smile on your face to see him doing so.

“Fine,” he finally muttered.

Am I dreaming, will I ever find you now?
I walk in circles but I'll never figure out
What I mean to you, do I belong?
I try to fight this but I know I'm not that strong
Tell me do you feel the same?
Hold me in your arms again

He held his head on his hands, leaning over the edge of his bed. He hated having to need you so badly. He hated having such a strong feeling of longing growing in the pit of his stomach. He hated having to yearn for you night after night.

He felt so clueless to this emotion. Was it really love, as you had said? Was this strong unconditional devotion, love? Maybe it was, or maybe it was just a sick wanting.

He loved the way your laughter sounded, light and angelic, but genuine and strong. He loved the way you would talk, confident and sure. He loved it when you smiled, when you told him everything would be okay. He loved the way you’d run your fingers through his hair, trying to calm his nerves before sleep. He loved it when you pressed your lips against his, whispering reassurances to him. You were overall perfect to him, a miracle.

Maybe it really was love.

He still couldn’t shake the feeling he was using you. He didn’t have the correct knowledge to give you back every little action you’d done for him that had meant a million words. He wanted to show you how much you meant to him, how much his fighting ceased when simple words left your perfectly shaped lips.

With a sigh he flopped down onto the bed, closing his eyes in attempt to fall asleep by himself.

I need your love, I need your time
When everything's wrong you make it right
I feel so high, I come alive
I need to be free with you tonight

He slowed his breathing down a bit, loosening his grip on your form. He glanced down, attempting to see your face. Your features were relaxed, content even. Feeling a bit regretful, he shook you a bit. “Oi, wake up,” he murmured.

Your eyelids fluttered open as you groggily stared up at him. “You okay?” you murmured.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said softly. “I just needed to ask you something.”

You hummed in response, reaching up to rub your eyes. He had to refrain from smiling at the adorable little yawn that left your lips. Unable to contain himself, he leaned down to peck the tip of your nose. “You know I love you… right?”

“Of course,” you said in return with a sleepy smile.

“But… how can you tell?”

“Hmm?”

“You’re always doing so much for me and I never do anything romantic with you. How do you know for certain that I love you?”

You hummed in thought, turning a bit to stare up at the ceiling. “I don’t know,” you finally said. “I think it’s because of that look in your eyes when you look at me. Or because you keep calling me back to help you.”

“I could be using you, though.”

“If you needed someone to help you sleep, I wouldn’t be your first option and you know that. You could have easily grabbed someone else any time you wanted to. But you didn’t. You chose me.” You turned back to look at him. “Why do you ask?”

All the years, all the times
You have never been to blame
And now my eyes are open
And now my heart is closing
And all the tears, all the lies, all the waste
I've been trying to make a change
And now my eyes are open

He stared back to you, unsure of how to respond. How had he not seen it before? Of course he loved you, and of course you knew that. He was just too caught up in his thoughts to think of it. “I didn’t want you to doubt how much I love you,” he finally settled for.

You grinned, leaning up to peck his lips softly. “I understand that you’re not a man of words Levi. And I’m fine with that. I never doubted you.”

He nodded, once again hugging you to his chest. “I’m just happy I have you here. I don’t think I’d be too good without you.”

A giggle left your lips, sending a wave of emotion to soar through Levi’s form. “You’re such a dork at love, Levi.”

“I’ve been trying to tell you that,” he muttered, earning another laugh from you. “What I’m trying to say is… I need your love. I feel like I’d be lost without it.”

You smiled, resting your head against his chest. “Well, you have all of it. You have no need to worry.”

I need your love, I need your time
When everything's wrong you make it right
I feel so high, I come alive
I need to be free with you tonight
I need your love.