Never Say Goodbye (Armin X Reader)

Death was an odd thing, wasn't it? Many suspected it to be painful, a thousand needles pinching every inch of your body. It really was just slow, almost suffocating. To be honest, it was kind of boring. All you had to look at was the deep gash in your stomach and the trees in front of you, it's leaves gently blowing in the wind. Well, might as well do something while you wait for death. Or for help. But, you didn't want to get your hopes up.

You sat up slowly, pressing your back against the tree trunk. Slowly raising your hands to your collarbone, you unclipped the cloak that had been draped about your shoulders. With a slight wince, the cloak was pressed down onto the wound. An aching filled you to the brim, though not from the dull pain that had long since made your body numb from the exhaustion of trying to stay alive. An aching for a presence to be beside you.

Though of course, the blonde was off with the others, most likely celebrating their victory. Those beasts were finally gone, at least that's what you got from the cheers some way off into the forest. If only he was here, at least to say goodbye, that would be enough.

But life doesn't always grant wishes like the genies did in the fairy tales Armin used to read you. He was so kind, so gentle, so sweet. His touch light against your skin, as if he were caressing a flower petal. Breaths feathering off your cheeks when he came near. Kiss delicate and expressive, saying all the words that he couldn't utter. The pads of his thumbs would brush over your cheekbones in attempt to savor the feel of your body so close to his. The simplest touch would be an intimate moment, something only the two of you would ever be able to understand.

A small smile graced your lips, a dry chuckle bubbling up your throat. And if only he saw you now. Lying in a puddle of your own blood, desperately wrapping your finger around the string that tied you to the world of the living. You'd honestly prefer if he didn't see. You couldn't bear to see the look on his face if he ever saw you.

A soft rustling brought you back to the horrifying reality. Your eyes shot open, and you stared at the bush in front of you, the source of the noise. "Eren, I don't understand how (f/n) could just disappear like that. She was right behind us when that last titan came out." A familiar voice spoke. Your breathing slowed as a blonde head poked out of the bush, shoving the leaves out of the way.

"I'm sure she just got lost for a moment, Armin." Eren said, following the boy out of the bush. He glanced in front of him, away from Armin's gaze. His breath hitched in his throat as his eyes connected with yours.

"What?" Armin asked, furrowing his brows at Eren. Eren's green eyes focused completely on your (e/c) ones. You knew in an instant that he was scared for his best friend. "What? What is it, Eren?" Armin asked, following his stare to the tree you were slumped at. A gasp escaped his throat, blue eyes widening at your figure.

He took a slow step forward, almost as if he were in a daze. Another slow step, breaths shallow. "(f/n)?" He whispered, afraid of the truth that eventually settled on his shoulders. "(f/n)! NO!" He said, running forward. Eren slowly followed, shock written all over his features.

Armin fell to his knees, unbuttoning his own cloak. "My God, why didn't you call for help, (f/n)? Oh, nevermind, we're gonna get you back to the castle and we'll fix you right up, okay?" He said, breath coming out in short gasps. He took away your bloodied cloak, tossing it to the side, pressing his own down to your stomach.

"Armin..." You whispered, raising your hand to cup his cheek.

He tilted his head to the side, kissing the palm. "I'm here, I'm here..." He whispered, grasping it in his own, lacing your fingers together. Armin turned around, giving his friend a stern glare. "Eren! Go get some help from the others, we need to bring her back-"

"Armin, I don't think there's anything we can do..." The turquoise-eyed boy murmured, running a hand through his chocolate brown tresses.

The blonde's eyes widened. "What?" He said, sounding dangerously angered.

"I-I mean look at her, Armin. She has that big gash, she's lost so much blood already-"

"SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! WE'RE GOING TO SAVE HER, SHUT UP!" Armin said, heaving air into his lungs. Eren's eyes widened, and he backed away slowly.

A small smile graced your lips. "He's right." You uttered.

He turned back to you, an exasperated sigh escaping his lips. "No, no he's not. Don't give up on me so easily, I love you. Okay? I love you, so much, I love you so much that I can't describe it. That if you used all the words in the world that wouldn't be enough. I love you more than every single grain of sand on every beach and ocean in the world." He said, leaning forward. He raised his hand to your face, running his thumb along your cheek. "Hang in there (f/n), I promise I'll get you out of this." He whispered, blue eyes glistening with hope.

"Armin... Please, don't do this." You whispered, shaking your head slowly.

He tossed the cloak to the side, beginning to take off his own jacket. "No, I have to, I need you here with me. We're going to the ocean together, right? Like you said, we're going to go to the ocean together. And then we'll get married on the beach, and we'll bring our children to the water, and we'll never live in fear again. Right? Tha-that's what we said (f/n), we promised each other." He said, in a tone that stated he was trying to convince himself more than you.

You raised your hands up, cupping his cheeks. You pulled his face forward, pressing your lips against his. Armin pulled away, setting his forehead against yours. "Don't act like this is the last time we'll ever be together (f/n), please stop acting like you're going to die." He pleaded, blonde locks tickling your cheeks.

You brushed the strands from his face, only to have them fall back into their original areas. "Don't deny it, Armin." You murmured, pressing your lips to his again.

A strangled cry escaped his throat, and he pressed his face into your soft chest, letting his tears damp your red stained shirt. "You can't leave me (f/n), I can't explore the world without you! Please, please don't leave me, I need you here, by my side! I'll miss holding you, and touching you, and kissing you. I'll miss your eyes, your laugh, your smile, your voice! I need you with me, please don't go! PLEASE!" He begged, hands clenching into fists by your side.

A shuddered sigh passed your lips, and you ran your fingers through his hair. "I... I have to, Armin..." You said, a sob of your own breaking through your words.

Armin looked back up, blue eyes shining with tears that had yet to run down his stained cheeks. "If you loved me at all you'd stay here." He whispered.

"I don't have a choice." You said, the hot drops of water fleeting down your features. A cry tore out of his throat, and he pressed his forehead against yours. He cried freely, wrapping his arms about your waist as he held you close.

"At-at least t-tell me that... that you-you loved me." He whispered, tucking a piece of your (h/c) hair behind your ear.

You smiled, pressing your hands to the nape of his neck. "You gave me all the love in the world, Armin. You loved me more than anyone else ever could. You gave me a lifetimes worth of love in two years. How could I not love you back? You're so kind and gentle, Armin, so intelligent and sweet. It was fate for me to fall desperately in love with you." You said.

His blue orbs focused on yours. "Stay silent... Just for a moment. So I can remember exactly how you look, right now, how beautiful you are." He whispered.

You complied, the only sound from you the shaky breaths that left your throat. His eyes glanced from your forehead, down to your eyes, then to your nose, then lips. He eyed your hair, running his hand along the silky locks. He smiled, letting out a soft sigh. "I'm so lucky to have found a girl like you. Beautiful. Inside and out." He whispered. "If only I'd kissed you more, held you more..."

He leaned forward, pressing gentle kisses all around your face, not leaving one spot untouched. His fingers wafted over your cheek, brushing against the skin and savoring it's unique texture. He pulled away, breathing slowly. "I'll never love anyone the same way I've loved you." He whispered, once again setting his forehead against yours.

"Don't hold yourself back from anyone. I want you to live your life, even if I'm not there physically. Don't you worry, I'll always be by your side." You whispered, struggling to speak as your breaths came out in short gasps.

He gave your lips another peck. "Is this... goodbye?" He whispered.

You shook your head, cupping his cheeks so his gaze met yours. "Never say goodbye... Because saying goodbye means going away... And going away means forgetting." You whispered.

"I love you." He said. "And I'll never stop. Even if I move on, I'll never forget you. I'll always love you."

A small smile adorned your features. Your eyes fluttered shut, a heaviness settling on your chest. "Thank you... Armin." Something almost pulled you, deeper and deeper into the darkness. Yet, it wasn't so scary. It looked peaceful, comfortable, safe. And... there were some of your friends. Waiting on the other side of the darkness, where a large light was. You grinned at them, but first turned around.

Was that... really your body? You glanced down at yourself, seeing entirely different clothing. But turning around, you saw a lifeless form of you, in your bloodied uniform. And there was Armin, desperately grasping your hand and crying over your body.

"Armin? Why're you crying? I'm right here." You said, stepping behind him.

"I'll always love you... You'll be in my heart now and forever more, (f/n)." He whispered, pressing light kisses to the body slumped against the tree.

You got down on your knees behind the blonde boy, staring at his tear-stained cheeks. You wrapped your arms about his torso. He seemed to have no reaction to it. It looked as if he didn't feel it at all. Realizing the situation, you pulled away, a small smiled etched on your lips.

Armin sighed, wiping his eyes as he stood. He took a few deep breaths, before turning to Eren. The brunette nodded over to the bush where the two had entered before. Armin glanced back to the unmoving form. You stood beside Armin, putting a hand to his shoulder. "Live on. For me." You whispered.

Armin furrowed his brows, glancing beside him where you stood. Your eyes met for a moment, almost as if her could see you. He shook his head, closing his eyes. He finally reopened them, giving Eren a light nod. Eren gave him an attempted smile, leading into the bush. You smiled as Armin followed him, hoping he'd live out your request.









"Never say goodbye, because goodbye means going away. And going away means forgetting." ~Peter Pan