Solatium (Jean X Depressed!Reader) AU

~A/N: Listen As You Read! www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y-ES0… ~









    The soft patter of rain seemed to lull you slowly to sleep, even with your mind wide awake and swimming with thoughts. As you lay in a huddle on your plush mattress, darkness consumed you from the inside out, leaving you as a shell while your soul deteriorated into nothing but a glimmer of hope. Your eyes trained on the small book laying opened on the bed beside you, upside down and halfway through, looking almost lonely there in the dark. No matter how many therapy books you read or articles on young adult advice, none of it seemed to help. It all felt like a monotonous drone in the back of your head similar to white noise.

    The whisper of the wind outside the closed window created a smooth melody as the moonlight filtered in through your curtains and dappled your room with a meager amount of color. You bit your bottom lip as you rolled onto your stomach, running a hand through your messy tresses. Why did you feel so down, so empty? You couldn't find any reason or explanation to your emotions, all you knew was that you had no motivation or energy to even stand. You wanted it to be over. All of it.

    The door slowly creaked open, allowing a strip of light to flood in as you squinted from the sudden brightness. A familiar voice muttered a quiet apology as the door closed, muted footsteps making their way to your figure. He sat on the edge of the bed beside you, placing his hand delicately on your back as you buried your head into your pillow, feeling almost ashamed of being in this state in front of him.


    "You weren't in class today."

    "I know."

    "... Your dad let me in. I came to check on you... see if you were okay."

    "I'm fine."

    "That's a huge lie."


    You poked your head out of the silky white pillow, giving him a sidelong glance as he allowed a feeble smile to adorn his lips. Navy-tinted headphones hung lazily around his neck, matching casual look of the onyx hoodie and faded jeans he wore. His amber hues pierced through the darkness, giving that spark of hope within you some strength to ignite. His locks were plastered to his forehead, dripping slightly from the rain outside as his skin glimmered from its dampness.


    "You walked here?"

    "Yeah."


    He grinned with pride, although you caught a small tremble in his legs from the chill. He softly cleared his throat, scooting closer to your figure as he soothingly ran his hand up and down your back, oddly glancing off to the side as you watched him.


    "What's wrong?"

    "I dunno."

    "That's understandable."


    You thought you heard sarcasm in his tone, yet he seemed completely serious as he met your gaze, pinching his lips together with thought. He gave you a weak yet sympathetic smile, bending down a bit to eye-level. His lips lightly brushed over your cheek, a tender and compassionate touch as he also kissed your forehead. Almost immediately after, he pulled himself away, golden eyes wide as he stuttered out explanations.


    "I-I'm sorry, that's just something my mom would do whenever I felt bad I-I-I didn't mean it in that kind of-"

    "No, it's fine."


    You gave him a soft grin, spirits suddenly lifted by his gentle touch. Sitting up straight, you ran your fingers through your hair, licking your lips as you released a soft sigh through your nose. Hesitantly, you rest your head against his shoulder, allowing your eyes to flutter shut as you genuinely smiled for the first time in what felt like years. He cautiously wrapped his arm about your waist, setting his chin atop your head as the moment enveloped you with a sense of security and tranquility.


    "I feel better now."

    "... Good..."