Surrender (Eren X Reader) 1/2

His fingers were intertwined with yours, holding your hand tightly. You turned your head on the plush grass to see his soft green eyes gazing back at yours. You smiled and squeezed his hand, turning back to look at the bright, shining stars.

"(f/n)?" He whispered, his gaze staring at the side of your head.

"Yeah?" You breathed out.

He was quiet for a moment. "... Do you promise you'll marry me one day?"

You giggled and scooted closer to the boy. "But Eren, we're only ten years old!" You said.

The boy smiled and kissed your cheek. "I know! But you're my best friend, and I want to make sure we stay together forever. If something bad happens, I want to make sure I can protect you. I want you to be able to depend on me, and I want you to love me just like I love you." He said.

You gave him a sad smile and pecked his lips. You were childhood sweethearts, of course. Truth be told, you had always wanted to be with the boy. Sure, you were young, but it was love. No matter what anyone said, you felt something real for him. Hearing him say this sent an indescribable wave of happiness through your body. "Yeah! We'll get married one day! Mikasa will be the maid of honor, and Armin will be the best man, and, and, and, it'll be out here on this hill, and, and, and, it's going to be perfect!"

Eren laughed and pulled you into a hug. "And everyone's going to be so happy!" He cheered. You both let out fits of giggles, before sharing a small innocent kiss. It only resulted in the both of you turning into blushing messes and getting very quiet before laughing again.

~*Time Skip*~

You giggled and brought your hands up to your face, where Eren's own hands were covering your eyes. "Eren! Where are you taking me?!" You asked, attempting to pull his hands away. He kissed the top of your head and chuckled softly. Oh, how much you both had grown in the past two years. He had gotten taller, his voice somewhat deeper, body more masculine. You had grown slightly taller, still shorter than him, your hips widened, and your chest broadened as your waist shrunk.

Not only did you change physically, but mentally as well. Since the fall of Wall Maria, you had both seemed to mature. You both seemed more mature than twelve years, of course. Maybe it was because of everything you had seen. Eren had definitely changed since his mom died, but you weren't completely sure how he seemed different.

"Just somewhere... I need to tell you something important." He said. The tone of his voice made your heart stop for a moment. Why did he sound so... so... sad? Disappointed? What was that hint of emotion... regret?

You had both been walking for quite a few hours. Your feet grew tired, resulting on Eren carrying you either bridal style down the streets or on his back, but all the while he made sure that you couldn't see where he was taking you. Whether it be hiding your face in his chest, or covering your eyes with his hands, you honestly had no idea where you were. What could possibly be so important to keep a secret?

A few more minutes of walking, and you both stopped. "Alright... We're here." He said slowly. He uncovered your eyes and dropped his hands to his side. You blinked a few times, adjusting your vision to the sudden bright light. In front of you, you saw a few soldiers welcoming in kids about your age. You gave Eren a confused look. "I need to talk to you about something extremely important." He said, running his hands from your shoulders down to your hands where he held them tightly.

"What is it...?" You asked cautiously, aimlessly swinging your arms back and forth as you used to as children.

He drew in a deep breath and stared down at his feet for a moment. He let out a long exhale before looking back up and locking his eyes with yours. "We... Can't get married, for a long time. I know we're still young, but I mean that even when we come of age... I don't think we'll be able to get married until a while after that."

You were silent for a moment. "You... don't want to marry me?" You asked, feeling every ounce of hope drip away like the rain on the roof of a house after a long shower.

He smiled softly and raised your hand to his lips, kissing it softly. "I want to be with you so badly it hurts... But... I have to do something, and I can't take you with me."

"Why not?" You asked. "We agreed that we'd be together no matter what, even if it's dangerous."

"I don't want you to risk your life for me, (f/n), I love you, and I want to keep you safe."

"What would you be doing that would risk our lives?" You asked.

"(f/n), it's hard to explain-"

"No, I'm sure it's not hard at all!" You said, suddenly angered. "Tell me the truth-"

"Do you love me?" He asked softly.

You were silent for a moment. "Of course I do, Eren, that's why I don't want you to go anywhere without me, I'll come with you so we can protect each other-"

"I'll get you someone to ride you back home, you just have to leave me here, okay?" He said, gripping your hands tightly and looking down at the floor.

"Wait a minute-"

"(f/n), please listen to me-"

"Wait a minute-"

"You don't understand how hard this is for me, (f/n)-"

"Wait, just wait! Are... Are you leaving...?"

"I'm... setting you free. I need you to leave me, and I need to leave you so I can do this on my own. I have no way to stop Mikasa or Armin, but I can stop you. I need you to stay behind so you can be safe. I'm setting you free, okay?" He said, looking up with tears brimming in the corner of his eyes.

You felt something slide down your cheeks. "Oh-Oh my God, I-I-"

Eren quickly pulled you towards him and wrapped his arms around you. "D-Do you know how hard this is for me, (f/n)? Do you kn-know how many times I've cried over this moment? I want to be with you so badly, I want to stay with you and give you all the love you deserve, but I can't. I know I can't because if I stay behind I wouldn't be true to myself. Please, please don't argue with me, love, please." He begged.

You quickly pulled away and gave him a stern look. "No. No, I'm not leaving here, I'm not leaving without you!"

"I can't go back with you, (f/n)-"

"Well then I'll stay here!" You argued, feeling more tears streak down your cheeks as your breathing became ragged gasps. "I'll stay here with you, I'll go wherever you go as long as we're together-"

"I'm joining the Survey Corps." He said. He quickly looked off to the side and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. You gave him a confused look at first, but after a few moments of silence, you finally understood. He didn't want you going with him because of the high risk of death. He took a deep breath and ran a hand through his dark brown hair. "I have to kill all of those beasts, (f/n), for my mom, for all the innocent lives we've lost-"

"Oh God, no. Wait... Y-You're joining the military?!" You asked. You quickly dove forward and clenched his shirt into your hands, burying your face in his chest. "You can't do that Eren, are you insane?! You'll die out there, I can't let you go, I can't let you leave me, you can't leave me Eren, I love you!" You said, your body racking with your sobs.

Eren softly pushed you away, his own tears sliding down his cheeks. He turned away from you and waved over to a man who was driving a wagon pulled by horses. After a quick talk with him, the kind man agreed to take you back home, free of charge. Eren quickly ran back to you and cupped your face in his palms. "Listen to me, (f/n). You're going to go back home, and you're going to be safe. I promise I'll come back to you in one piece, I promise. I love you enough to make sure I come back to you, and no one, no one, is going to stop me from coming home to you." He said as the tears slid down your cheeks and soft cries escaped your throat.

He took a deep breath and kissed your forehead. "You know what we're going to do?" He asked softly. You shook your head, unable to speak due to the sobs threatening to spill out. He sighed softly. "Surrender. I-I know how hard that is for you, because of how hard you hold on to stuff. But-but we're just, we're just going to stand here, and we're gonna just let go. Okay? And-and we're gonna let the universe do it's thing. And if we're meant to be together, we're gonna be together. Whether it's two years from now, five years from now, or ten, or twenty years from now. Okay?"

Your sobs echoed throughout the street as you gripped onto his shirt and allowed your tears to fall freely from your (e/c) eyes. "Will you do that with me? Will you surrender?" He asked softly, pressing his forehead against yours. You let another soft cry escape your lips as you nodded slowly and weakly.

"I-I love you, so much." You whispered against his lips.

"I love you." He said, before quickly closing the space in between you by crashing his lips onto yours. You savored the feeling of him being so close to you, because who knows when it will happen again. The kiss was soft and gentle, his lips moving slowly against yours. You pulled away and covered your mouth with your hand to muffle any other sobs that threatened to tear out.

Eren helped you up onto the wagon, giving you another small kiss. He held onto your hand as long as he could before it was out of reach as he climbed down. He gave you a sad smile and ran his hand through his hair while wiping his eyes with his other one. You attempted a smile, only resulting in a few more tears escaping. He mouthed an "I love you" as the man snapped the reins on the horse, causing the wagon to jolt forward as it slowly moved along.

Eren suddenly began walking alongside the wagon. Then it turned into a fast paced walk. As the wagon sped up, it became a jog. His eyes desperately sought for yours as the crowd of people thickened. He seemed unable to leave you, even though he had just convinced you, and partially himself, that you had to leave each other.

He was running fast now, pushing people out of his away in attempt to keep your last picture in his mind as recent as possible, even if it was only by a few seconds. His actions only made more tears streak down your cheeks. He was now frantically trying to keep up, while trying to push away the least amount of people as possible.

The last you saw of his were his green eyes sparkling with tears as he stopped in his tracks and watched the wagon disappear behind a corner.

You hurriedly turned around to face forward, clamping your hand over your mouth to muffle your sobs.


Surrendering is harder than you thought it would be.