New York Stories!

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Greystream
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Story 1: Perverted Elmo

Okay, so my mom surprised me by saying that my Christmas present was getting to see Les Miserables on Broadway. You may or may not know this, but LES MIS IS MY LIFE. Anywhooo, she had to buy the tickets first at this ticket booth, and the line stretched for two blocks. So my mom told me, that while she waits in line, I can go by myself to get some coffee. Me, being the adventurous little dork I am was like, "REALLY?! ALL BY MYSELF, YOU'LL LET ME WANDER AROUND CRAZY TIME SQUARE!?" So she lent me ten dollars and I walked away like a badass to go get some Starbucks that was like five blocks away.

And so I started walking towards the Starbucks, weaving in and out of the traffic of people (there are so many tall people holy shit I was a fucking munchkin) and shoving a few people here and there cause I was kinda grumpy because I didn't have my morning coffee yet. And so, in Time Square, there are literally hundreds of people, dressed in costumes for kids to take pictures with. I just so happened to stumble upon an Elmo. Now let me tell you, when I was little I basically WORSHIPED ELMO.

So I accidentally bumped into this guy dressed as Elmo, mumbled out an apology, and kept walking to Starbucks. And a few seconds later, I looked over my shoulder to make sure the guy was okay, aND HE WAS FOLLOWING ME. So I thought that maybe it was a coincidence that he was heading the same direction, but me watching too much Investigation Discovery, walked a little faster. Turn around, hE'S WALKING FASTER TOO. So I turn around and say, "Hey buddy, did you loose something 'cause I sure as fuck don't have it. Stop following me you sack of shit." So then, I turn around to keep walking, AND HE GRABS MY ASS.

SO ME BEING ME, I'M OBLIGATED TO GO APE-SHIT ON THIS FUCKER. So I turn around, punch him in the face, and push him to the floor. And while he's on his back, holding his nose (or Elmo's nose) I start kicking his side. And then a few moms beside me are covering their children's eyes and I'm beating this fucker up, and once I finally give his head a last kick, I calmly walk to Starbucks, get my coffee, and go back to my mom. Turns out, there was actually a Starbucks right around the corner, and I didn't have to walk five blocks.



Story 2: Hot Older Boys Need To sTOP

So, my mom has a boyfriend (unfortunately, because I don't like him) and I guess for Christmas he got her something from Tiffany's? And you know how Tiffany's is hELLA EXPENSIVE AS FUCK so my mom was excited and shit. Anyway, the Tiffany store in Manhattan is HUGE. THERE ARE SIX FUCKING FLOORS IN THIS JEWELRY STORES, WHERE I PROBABLY CAN'T EVEN AFFORD A KEYCHAIN. So we were looking around for a bit on the first floor, and I happen to look up and Holy shit. Not only was this boy at most 18 (//shot for loving them older boys) but he worked at Tiffany's. SO HE WAS WEARING A FINE-ASS SUIT. What surprised me the most though, was that he was blonde, and I found him attractive. Now, I'm usually not a fan of blondes, NOT TO BE HAIR-RACIST but I strongly prefer brunettes. But anyway, he was pretty tall (I was up to his chest) had GREEN FUCKING EYES and just looked super professional and sophisticated. HE LOOKED LIKE MASON DYE, LOOK HIM UP, HE'S AN ACTOR.

So me being my flirty-as-fuck self, kinda subtly walked over and began looking at all the shit they had in the cases that was near them. I'm not much of a jewelry girl, but I like necklaces a lot so I was looking at those and then my day just BRIGHTENED when I heard him walk up behind me and he was like all professional and shit but his voice was just UGH but he asked me "Do you need help looking for anything, ma'am?" And on the inside I'm just like 'Nope because I found you already you handsome bitch' or I'm like, 'Holy fuck he called me ma'am please marry me kind sir' And so I turn around and I'm probably blushing like a schoolgirl but I just, Y'KNOW WHAT IT WENT DOWN LIKE THIS:

Me: *nervously laughs* Ah, no I'm fine, but thank you for asking. *smiles and turns back to case of necklaces*
Him: ... *slowly leans over me and points at necklace with a moon on it* I think this would look nice on you.
Me: *laughs and shoves hands in pockets of jacket* Er, thank you. I don't think I'll be buying anything here though. I could probably hardly afford a keychain.
Him: *laughs and leans against glass case* Me neither... So, what is a pretty, modest girl like you doing in a booshy store like this?
Me: *shrugs* My mom's boyfriend got her some sort of shit- I mean, something. *mentally slaps self* Ah, sorry-
Him: A girl with a mouth on her. That's something I like, fiery.
Me: *trying sO HARD NOT TO BLUSH* Well if I knew you a little better, I'm sure I'd be saying things left and right... So, you work here?
Him: Yeah, my boss is my dad so... I kind of had it coming for me.
Me: So do you get unlimited access to every single bit of all this expensive stuff? Or at least you's be a master at stealing it, right? I bet you bring stuff to your girlfriend all the time, what a lucky duck she is.
Him: *laughs and shakes his head* No, I don't. And I don't have a girlfriend either. But if you were mine, I'd risk stealing something for you. Maybe even that moon necklace *points to necklace in case*
Me: *gives up and blushes like crazy while trying to conceal blush with stupid girly giggles*
His Boss: HEY! NO SLACKING OFF OR FLIRTING!
Him: Oh, shit, that's my dad. *turns back to me* So, I'll see you around?
Me: ... Sure.

IT SUCKS BECAUSE I'LL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN SINCE I DON'T LIVE IN NEW YORK FUCK XD Oh well at least I got some flirty shit and sjfgkyhgekrg he was hOT GUYS HE WAS JUST //flings self out window



Story 3: CUTE BOYS ERRYWHERE

Me and my mom stopped by an Italian deli to get some sandwiches that she said were AMAZING and I like sandwiches so I was like "OKAY!" and so we go in, and it's a little store probably run by a family, but there's this older man, and then a maybe 16-year-old boy working behind the counter. And of course I just kinda started hyperventilating and trying to look nice and not look like a complete dork. THIS BOY WAS PRETTY CUTE TOO. He was tan, like Italian tan, had kind of short dark hair and big brown eyes, and he was TALL. I LIKE MY TALL MEN //shot. Well, maybe he was just tall to me since I'm short, but I was also about up to his mid-chest.

And so of cOURSE my mom sees me staring at this boy and trying to look nice, so being the ASSHOLE SHE IS, she walks over to him and starts ordering and I'm just in the back like "MOM HOW DARE YOU  NOW I'M OBLIGATED TO ORDER FROM HIM TOO I CAN'T TALK  TO HIM I'LL LOOK STUPID" so I go up to him and start ordering, and this adorable little motherfucker just starts FREAKING OUT. Like, he's getting all flustered and shit, and he dropped his pen a few times and it was SO FUCKING ADORABLE I WANTED TO JUST HUG HIM AND IT WENT LIKE THIS:

Me: Er... Yeah, I'll have a turkey sandwich on a roll...
Him: Do you want any cheese- *drops pen* Oh fuck I-I'm so sorry, let me get that really quick *bends down to grab pen, and hits head while standing back up* OW, SHIT
Me: *trying not to laugh* A-Are you alright?
Him: YEAH, I'm-I'm fine!
Me: *grins* Okay then... I'll have Munster cheese with lettuce and tomato, and that's all.
Him: Okay. *looks over at my mom* And ma'am, did you want lettuce and onion- shit I mean uh lettuce and tomato- or tomato and lettuce- I mean... *facepalms* Goddamn it
Mom: *starts laughing and shakes head*
Me: Are you sure you're alright?
Him: Yeah, yeah, don't worry ma'am I'm just a little... mixed up today, that's all *drops pen again* JESUS CHRIST *bends down and hits head again* GODDAMN IT
Me: *laughs a little* Are you a bit flustered, sir? Are you okay?
Him: Yes I am- I mean, no, no I'm fine! I'm totally fine it's just *pauses and stares at me for a second* I'm going to go ahead and make your food before I drop this pen again *drops pen* ... Fuck.
Him: //Later// *hands me bag* H-Have a good day, ma'am! *hand touches mine when he hands me the bag, and accidentally knocks over a container of straws when he retracts his hand* Oh, shit, I'm so sorry.

HE WAS SO ADORABLE AND FLUSTERED AND SHIT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE HIM A BIG OL' KISS HE WAS SO CUTE I helped him pick up the straws and shit afterwards XD BUT YEAH, HE WAS A REALLY CUTE DELI-BOY AND I JUST WANTED TO HUG HIM



OKAY MY LOVES, THAT'S ABOUT IT FOR NOW! IF I REMEMBER ANYTHING ELSE I'LL BE SURE TO MAKE ANOTHER JOURNAL, I WAS JUST MAKING THIS FOR SOME LAUGHS AND FOR FUN, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!!

Thanks For Reading! :iconrainbowsheepplz:

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rollingmikuplz's avatar
rollingmikuplz
Edited
holy shit your life is a living fanfiction with a lil bit a crackfic here and there
AND I SWEAR YOU ARE AN ATTRACTIVE GUY MAGNET BECAUSE THE EREN KID AND NOW THIS
jfc bela 
also can we just talk about les mis on broadway for ONE SECOND THAT IS SO AMAZING IM DYING TO SEE IT BC THAT MOVIE IS MY JAM
apart from phantom but MUSICALS MAN I SWEAR